pansexuals will steal your girl, your man, your non-binary romantic partner, your car, your bank account PIN number, and your cat.
ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat
SERIOUSLY THIS SHIT IS AMAZING AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE CANOLA YOU CAN USE OLIVE FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND MY FINE ASS LEGS
" your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic" I AM LAUGHING WAY TOO HARD
Sometimes I think of how one tiny mutated cell can wipe out our whole civilization, but then I watch a video like this and think “nah, we’re way too awesome of a species to be defeated.”
I feel like my life is complete after watching this.
HOLY SHITTING CHRIST.HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO KEEP SUCH A GOOD TONE QUALITY. WHAT THE SHIT. I CAN’T. JUST.
Seriously, as somebody who is relatively good at the flute let me tell you that that is really fucking difficult. REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. That’s like the flautist’s equivalent of trying to talk normally whilst breathing in: it just isn’t doable. This guy is using some freaky fucking sorcery. As if that weren’t bad enough: HIS FINGERS ON THAT LAST BLOODY SCALE HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN YOU MOVE THAT FAST. I CAN’T EVEN DO F BLOODY MAJOR THAT FAST AND IT’S THE EASIEST BLOODY SCALE WE HAVE HOLY CHRIST.
Remember that time Daleks and Cybermen had sass-off?
THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVE SCENE FROM DOCTOR WHO EVER I AM NOT EVEN JOKING I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE MADE A POST OF IT I THINK ABOUT THIS MORE OFTEN THAN IS NORMAL UGH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY
No one sasses better than the Daleks and Cybermen. No one.
LITERALLY MY FAVORITE SCENE. They are both sassy as fuck.
WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD
easy there henry
whos henry what thef uck?
*faint laughter from Britian*
*history teachers crying*
don’t date anyone who doesn’t think hawkeye is a valuable member of the avengers
ONE TWEET. THIS FIT IN ONE TWEET. IF YOU FUCK IT UP YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.
For anyone who’s been made to feel at fault when someone else screws up.
kill the imposter